Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

And the sadness?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Any straight men had a gay experience in the past? What was it and how did you feel?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I had run out of hope.

Why do flat earthers exist?

Be who you already are.

The sadness was still there.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why do doctors refuse HRT to menopausal women but hand them out to trans people?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are like me, then.

Why do programmers choose to write their own code instead of using code that is already available online?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Why is Canada letting too many Indians in Canada?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What are mean nicknames to call my sister? She is always so mean to me.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why are we explaining today’s “climate change” as driven by human related “green house” gasses when natural “global warming” pushed sea level up to the “shores” of Topeka with no human contribution or even presence? Is Occam’s Rasor applied?

It’s here now, writing to you.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s still here.

What is the lowest probability event you have personally witnessed?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Scientists visualize key protein structures linked to immune response and inflammation - Phys.org

I was tired of fighting.

I was tired of trying and failing.